Pity Party

I would hate for you all to think that it's all sunshine and rainbows living in NYC.  At times, it really sucks.  Sometimes it's lonely and isolating, which is part of the reason that I restarted blogging.  Your friends are too busy working (and, frankly, you are too most of the time) to hang out.  People become really flaky and make empty promises.  Then, too much time occurs in between the scheduled date and the rescheduled date and the re-rescheduled date and then the whole thing is passed by and forgotten about.  But you don't forget and you see the very same people making time for other people but not you.  So, yeah, it sucks.

It also sucks in less psychological ways.  A few weeks ago, I went to Boston to clean Erik's apartment to surprise him while he was away at a bachelor weekend.  I took the early morning bus from NYC to Boston.  I was one of the first people on the bus (which I've always taken).  There was a mix up about whether the bus was the 8:15 or 8:30 one, and the driver left the bus unattended while she was figuring this out.  I'm sure you can see where this is going...  Well, my bag got stolen from under the bus! That's right, I go to Boston to do something really nice and then get screwed over by the Universe.  Like, wtf!  $1500+ worth of stuff stolen: All my make up, my new overnight bag, 2 weeks worth of work shirts (brought to clean), workout clothes, my favorite pair of jeans, 2 pairs of shoes.... UGH!  And the kicker is that the person that I would call and the person who could make me feel better was away and I didn't want to ruin his weekend.  I frantically texted his friend who had his wife call me and she so kindly took me to the mall so I would at least have some clothes and other necessities for the next day.

Needless to say I was not a happy camper.  In fact, I was in a pretty foul mood about it.  I still cleaned E's apartment and ended up staying an extra night so the trip wasn't a complete loss.  But still.  It suuuuucked.

After 4 days of moping around hating New York, the person that took my bag, the bus driver for just not caring, and myself for putting the bag underneath the bus in the first place, I decided to have a pity party because I just wasn't getting over it.  So, I left work early and probably could have gone to the gym, but I didn't.  I ordered Indian food, opened a bottle of wine and just let myself mope and be angry and be sad about the bag and missing items.  Basically, I just decided that I would have that night to be upset and then the next day—no more.  I went to bed telling myself that the next day would be a better day.  No more complaining about the bag.  I would just simply be over it.

The crazy part?  I was and am.  Sure, I'm annoyed that my bag was stolen and that I've had to replace all those things.  But, I'm really over it.  And another crazy thing, it's like I was rewarded for it.  Boltbus ended up giving me money (even though on their website they say they aren't liable).  My gym was giving out free chair massages.  And other good things have happened.  So, yeah, I guess that means I'm a big believer in pity parties now.

Times New Roman

I don’t normally get worked up about things I read on Above the Law and I especially don’t have much of an opinion about what they are normally writing about.  (For non-legal types, the website is basically a perezhilton for lawyers.)

But this latest post by a contributor really kind of bugged me.  It equated the use of Times New Roman font with apathy and just not caring.  He also blames the usage on lawyers not being very tech-savvy.  For me, in personal correspondence and this blog, I prefer Georgia but I don’t think it’s very professional.  At any rate, the serifs are a must with fonts for me.  Erik's an Arial fan, me not-so-much.

He goes on to support the one-space rule after periods.  I’m a two-spacer all the way.  This has also been debated here. 

Yes, these are the things that get lawyers all hot under the collar.  Sad statement.

Scavenger Hunt: Huxtables’ House & Greenwich Village

When our cousins were in town a few weeks ago, we took them on a quick and dirty tour of the city on the one day they had to do sightseeing.  Unfortunately, since we only had time for the highlights, we were unable to see one of their requested sights—The Huxtables’ House.  While on the Cosby Show, the Huxtables were supposed to live in Brooklyn, the house was actually in the West Village.

Here’s what it looks like today:

While walking to SoHo, I went through Greenwich Village and found a few more sights from the book.  One of which was The Stonewall Inn.

In June 1969, this bar (which used to be 19th century stables) was the location of the “Stonewall Rebellion” where hundreds of gays and their supporters filled the street and took part in the first “Gay Pride” parade (Ch. 168).

 

 Next on the “tour” was Washington Square Park, right on the edge of NYU’s campus.  According to Ch. 35, Washington Square Park was established to celebrate the 50th anniversary of America’s independence (it was also established to raise property values—how surprising...).  In order to get space for the park, the mayor at the time used a graveyard which had been the resting place for NYers that had “either died of epidemic diseases, were too poor for a church burial or who were hanged for their crimes”.  (Ch. 35).  Now, the terrible part of this is that these bodies were never disinterred!! That means that the times I’ve walked in the park enjoying people-watching or live music, I’m enjoying it on 20k+ dead bodies!

It’s not your imagination, that Arch does look like the Arc de Triomphe in Paris.  The marble Washington Memorial Arch (by Stanford White) is in fact modeled after its Parisian sister.  The underneath of the arch (not photographed) had a bunch of carved roses.  It was quite spectacular and looked well considering it’s 100+ years old and traffic used to pass underneath it until 1959! (Ch. 102).

Behind the Arch and to the right of the picture are a row of redbrick houses called “The Row” (Ch. 39).  In the early 1800’s, these townhomes were the nicest property in NYC.  The original leases ran 99 years and had to be set back a set amount from the street and each had their own stable.  The address of the “Row” conveyed a certain status and was a calling card to those in the know. (Ch. 39).

Scavenger Hunt: Central Park

Now that I’ve had several people come in town to visit, I’ve realized what a terrible tour guide I have been.  I knew absolutely nothing about the history of the buildings and just took them to the stereotypical NYC sights.  We hit many of the highlights but missed some big ones like the fountain in Bethesda Terrace (big angel fountain in Central Park where tons of movies have scenes and Law & Order finds dead bodies), the Mall (also in CP), Carnegie Hall (in my defense, it’s currently obscured by scaffolding) among other things.

So, to remedy that, I bought a book called “Inside the Apple: A Streetwise History of New York City”.  Now, they should totally have books like this for every city if they don’t already.  I have found it so interesting and am treating it as a scavenger hunt of sorts.  It will be something that’s cheap, fun and time-consuming for the weekends when I’m here without work (need to take advantage!) and without Erik. (Side note: While finding the link for the book title above, I found out that the writers have a BLOG!! Adding it to my GoogleReader NOW).

So this is the beginning of what I’ll call the “Scavenger Hunt” series of blogposts.  I’ll start with Central Park.  I took these photos after my ill-fated Sunday run.  It’s so crazy that this is where I live!

Anyway, some photos and a little history.

This is Columbus Circle at 59th Street and at the southern tip of the park.  According to chapter 98, this statute was built in honor of the Christopher Columbus Quadricentennial.  Before 1892, Columbus Circle was just called “the Circle”—just not the same, is it?

This statue is called “The Angel of the Waters” and is actually the first work of public art in New York City by a female artist, Emma Stebbins.  It was installed in 1873 (Ch. 72).  It looks more picturesque with water, so I’ll probably take more pictures and update with a later post.  The terrace is also called “Navy Terrace” and the angel was dedicated to those who died serving in the Union Navy (Ch. 72).  She comes at the end of “The Mall” (see below for photos).

Bethesda Terrace is said to be the “formal heart” of CP (Ch. 68) and work on it continued  during the Civil War.  

There are stone carvings at the top of the stairs to get to the terrace, representing the times of day. Here are a few:

Go Jackets!

Knowledge (lamp and book)

The most interesting one to me by far is the carving of a flying witch with a jack-o-latern (Ch. 68).  Apparently at the time this was made, Halloween symbols were new to America and this carving may have been a compliment to Irish Americans, whose Catholicism was thought to be akin to paganism—Halloween just being one of the many examples of such behavior.

The Mall is the only straight promenade in Central Park and starts at the Poets’ Walk at the southern end and ends with Bethesda Terrace.

So, that’s my typical Sunday in the Park. :)  Hope this wasn’t too long/ boring.

Running in Central Park

One of the great things about NYC is that you can run in Central Park, which is just so quintessentially New York.  EXCEPT if the only day you choose to run in Central Park is Sunday, which is the quintessential day for races that you end up crashing.  So far, the last 2 Sundays, I've accidentally crashed large, organized races.  

The first was a women's half marathon:

 The second was a Scottish 10k—no photos on that one.  

I run on Sundays in the park since my gym is closed on Sundays (why-for-the-love-of-god?!!?) and so I'm left to find exercise elsewhere.  Unfortunately, Sunday is the day for races in the park.  The Universe only knows what I'll encounter this coming weekend.  And it's awkward because there are crowds cheering for the people running in the race.  I'm left awkwardly feeding off the energy of people running much further distances than me and having paid for the privilege to do it or left awkwardly passing them as they are struggling through their last 2 miles and the race people have already started packing up the hydration stations...  Not ideal.  But is that going to stop me from running in Central Park, which is a mere 6 blocks from my apartment? Um, No!

One of the Perks...

One of the perks of my job (and, to be honest, there are quite a few) is that sometimes the partners pick junior associates to go with them to certain events.  

Yesterday, I got into work way early at 8:30am (for us NYC lawyers, 8:30 is an ungodly hour—people tend to roll in between 9:30am and 10:00am) to go to a Continuing Legal Education class on "How to be an Effective M&A Lawyer".  I went because 1) I'm an M&A lawyer and 2) two of my partners were the presenters.  Well, one of them came up to me and another first year associate and said "Just the two people I wanted to see..."  NOT a good lead in.  We both had a momentary panic about work and about our weekends being crushed and, as for me, my vacation being cancelled.  But, alas, my worries were for naught.  He actually asked us to go with him to the Yankees game tonight against the Orioles.

Now, my colleague and I said "yes" because there really isn't another answer.  This partner is the second-most-senior partner and "I have work" isn't even a valid excuse because there's always after the game (which my colleague had to go back into the office—bummer for him).  As for me, I'm rather slow right now so here I am blogging about it instead.  Sorry, friend!

At any rate, the weather in NYC has just been terrible the last few days.  Cold, wet and a strange fog that made it so that I couldn't see the city from my office, which is a bit disconcerting and a tad creepy.  My colleague and I very ungratefully were hoping all day for a rained out game because it just would not be fun to sit in the cold and rain for 3 hours.  No such luck.

Well, turns out that it was totally a lot of fun and we were kind of stupid for wishing it otherwise.  Unfortunately, I also spent almost $40 on a hot dog (sweet Italian sausage, mind you), french fries and 2 beers.  That's not a typo—the prices were INSANE.  But then again, we took a car up to the stadium and the tickets were paid for.  All and all, money well spent.  

The partner with whom we went is one of my favorite partners.  People describe him as "scary" and "crazy smart" but he just seems like a normal guy to me.  Maybe it's because people have said these things about him so I'm always super-prepared anytime I turn anything in to him and so I'm not caught off guard when he asks tough questions.  It might also be because he and I have a lot in common.  For instance, we both have 2 cats and love them like children—funny, I know.  He also was long-distance from his wife his first year at the firm and she was in Boston, just like my husband.  We also both did crew in college, which he quizzed me about the first time we met.  He's definitely one of my favorite people at the firm and I feel very lucky to have him as a supervisor.

Here are a few photos of the game (I didn't feel comfortable asking the people I was with to take a photo of me so it's just the field):

I find it funny that the only Major League baseball games I've been to are Yankees games despite not having any affinity towards the Yankees at all.  In fact, I would say I'm more a Red Sox fan but seeing as I've now seen 3 Yankees games (all through the firm), maybe it's time to change my allegiance.  I've always said "best team that money can buy" in a derogatory fashion, but maybe it's time to say it as a positive?  Maybe it's time to assimilate all the way and buy a Yankees cap?

I Did It!

Me in front of the courthouse—first
picture as a lawyer!

K, this post is going to be self-absorbed and all about me, but you know what?  I've EARNED it!

Yesterday, I was sworn in and admitted to the bar of the State of New York.  What does that mean? That means that I'm an honest-to-goodness, real life lawyer.  I can sign "Esquire" after my name now.  But I can also practice the law.  It means that I have accomplished something great.  I mean, wow, I'm, like, an adult now. ;)

Now, I know that there are people out there (in fact, I work with them and was sworn in with them) that don't consider being sworn in a big deal or maybe they are just trying to seem too cool or too busy to notice a major life event happening to them.  I did get sworn in during the "quick & dirty" ceremony with the clerk of the court rather than the big fancy official ceremony on Monday.  It wasn't because it was any less meaningful for me or even that I was so slammed at work.  Frankly, I was tired of waiting—having learned that I passed the bar exam in November.

For me, yesterday was a BIG FREAKING DEAL! I'm the first attorney in my family.  In fact, my mother did not even graduate college.  My father went to law school but had to quit his 3L year and me being an attorney was always a dream of his (I didn't realize until quite a bit later that it was also a dream of mine).  I actually got choked up during the oath.  "I do solemnly swear to uphold the laws of the Constitution of the United States and of the State of New York . . ."  There was more, but I don't remember. :(  And, oddly, it must be the only thing you can't find online.  

Anyway, I kept thinking about all the things I've had to overcome to get to that place, to that courtroom with the gold leaf wood carved ceiling and stained glass dome, to hear my name (shockingly pronounced correctly) during the roll call of all the attorneys.  I sometimes forget about what I've gone through.  I'm just so happy now and things are going really well.  It's so strange to think that there was a time where I didn't know if I could go on.  A time where things were so dark that I wondered if anything would ever be okay again.  But, yet, here I am.  I'm a corporate attorney in New York City.  I mean, things aren't perfect by any means (life would definitely be much improved if E were here or if my hours at work were predictable or even normal), but overall things are good.  What more could anyone ask for?

There have been many people in my life for whom I am very grateful.  And, yes, they have helped me along the way.  But as for this, I did it myself.  All those late nights studying and sacrifices I've made were worth it.  All the thing I've worked through were worth it:  My abusive stepmother.  My dad's passing.  Being estranged from my family growing up.  Moving every year.  All my life happenings have brought me to this point where I am better than that. And I have escaped from the cycle of abuse and dependence.  

So, I'm going to take this day and acknowledge that, at least in this moment, it is all about me.  And I'm damn proud of myself.

Bar Interview

Today was my interview for the NY bar.  This "interview" lasted all of 8 minutes.  I trekked 20 blocks south in the pouring rain (well, more like the subway +4 blocks in the elements).  I feel like my interviewer was taking things too seriously.  From the war stories I've heard from my other friends (I'm one of the last to be admitted), it's a perfunctory exercise where they basically just check if you have a pulse.  I was asked where do I see myself in 5 years?  Answer: Practicing law.  I guess I was caught off guard...  Looks like I'm out of practice.  Second question: Do you own a car in the city?  Well, at least that one was easy.  Third: If there was one thing about American law that you would change, what would it be?  Me (to the 70+ year old retired judge who seems rather conservative): To be honest, I would legalize same-sex marriage.  I have many friends that demonstrate the epitome of love in a caring relationship and they are denied what my husband and I have.  At the same time, I see straight couples who have no business getting married.  Now, I know it's kind of silly but I was really proud of myself for saying that.  I don't know why I hesitated but it probably has a lot to do with the fact that I'm a people-pleaser and knew that he was, well, old and probably not as progressively-minded as the people in my generation.  But, no, he didn't immediately revoke my stamp of approval.  He said that in his informal survey, 5-10% of applicants had my answer.  The majority?  Immigration.  Fair enough.

The real kicker: Him telling me that "for future reference" I should not chew gum in an interview.  Right... duh.  I guess as far as he knows because he was taking it so seriously, he felt like I should have too.  And that's a fair point.  But really?  Nice parting words.

At any rate, the good news is.... I've been approved! SO, I'm getting SWORN IN tomorrow.  Yep, as of 1pm tomorrow (EDT), I will be an actual, honest-to-goodness attorney.  Granted, my life won't really change at all except that now I'll get business cards from my firm (really nice engraved ones at that) and be able to remove the oh-so-embarrassing "Not Yet Admitted to the Bar" disclaimer in my signature line of emails.  I guess I'll also be able to sign things with "Esq." after my name if I'm feeling super cheesy/pretentious.

The highlight of today: A strawberry milkshake from the infamous (and original) Shake Shack.  Normally, there is a several hour (not joking) wait for this place.  However, since it was 2:30pm on a Tuesday in the pouring rain, there was no wait!  Lucky me!  Too bad I had already had lunch or else I would have bought an infamous burger too.  Verdict: The milkshake, while tasty, did not rise to the $5+tax milkshake level.  It was hard to taste the strawberry flavors from the creamy-goodness of vanilla flavor. That being said, I'm just happy to say that I finally got something from Shake Shack!  If I manage to wake up early and go to the gym tomorrow morning (like I did today, go me!), I may get an actual burger after my swearing in tomorrow, which is conveniently also located by Madison Square Park.

I Just Can't Stay Away From You Guys

Hello Blogging Buddies (and other Internet Friends)!

After some soul-searching (and three of my deals dying untimely deaths), I've decided to continue blogging after all.  Yes, it can seem terribly self-absorbed.  But, you know, I'm okay with that.  The fact that all (4?!) of you read this makes me feel good and well, I think I have some interesting things to say damnit! People blog for all different reasons.  For instance, I have a "friend" (of the facebook-haven't-seen-them-since-college type), and he has a rather obnoxious blog of all the really cool photos he's taken in all the really cool places I'll never go.  I have another friend that is an intermittent blogger who does really cool scrapbook pages that I only aspire to.  And another who is blogging about her self-transformation journey.  And several others that blog about their growing families—I read those with not a little bit of jealousy.

As for me, what's this blog about? My ramblings.  My thoughts on living in NYC, practicing law, living long-distance from my husband and other such self-absorbed nonsense.  The thing that convinced me to come back?  A friend of mine's (and fellow blogger's) email:

So - I definitely think you should blog again.  And - um - who is this [person] who teased you about it?  She may be coming from a different place, but she really shouldn't judge you about it  :)  Why would she tease you about blogging?  . . .  I don't think you would look wishy-washy if you came back - you didn't really give much of a reason for leaving - so you can just say that you wanted a break from it - but realized how therapeutic and good it was for you to get thoughts out on "virtual paper".  At least that's how I feel about it.  The things you are going through right now - you will most likely not remember a lot of it - I love being able to go back through my blogs from the past few years and seeing everything I was going through then - and how God has totally worked in my life since then and brought me to a new place.  It's really refreshing to see it work out through time - how much He gets me through.  Anyway!  Sorry to ramble.

 Wise words, my friend, wise words.  And, well, I've missed you guys! It can get lonely in the Big City and sometimes you just want to put stuff out into the ether.