Happy St. Patrick's Day

I know I've been a bit delinquent in posts so I've purchased an app (Blogsy) to blog from my iPad (that arrived on Friday afternoon!!!). I think this will help because I will be able to blog from more places now.

At any rate, this is a test to see if it works how it's supposed (and if I figured it out).

 

Since it's St. Patrick's Day, I thought I would share a bit of my luck with all of you today (it being St. Patrick's Day and all). Funny enough, this is not the only four leaf clover I've found. The first was in Northern Ireland in 1996. Talk about lucky. And, yes, I still have it! I found this one in Central Park last August while exploring the northern part. I filed it under the "finders" cases in my 1L property casebook because I'm cool like that.

 

 

Thank You

Everyone, I'd like to take a brief moment to thank all of you for your positive thoughts and comments over the past week! I feel like all the good vibes sent out into the Universe helped me with my test anxiety. I felt focused and ready to rock it out for all 3 days.

I'm also happy to say that I'm DONE and that Erik and I celebrated in style with a 12-course tasting menu with drink pairing last night at Baumé. Poor guy is a little hungover and at work all day. Me? I'm back in sweatpants and catching up on tv shows (and the blog and outside world). Plans for the weekend include going to another wine pick up event at Ridge this afternoon, going for a hike to see wildflowers since it'll be 71+ degrees out this weekend (76 on Sunday!), and possibly hitting up the Mountain View Farmers' Market.

Bar Exam

All these books are in my head right now.

While you are reading this (assuming you read it on the day it's posted), I am taking the 2nd day of the California bar exam (it's 3 days - yuck). The 2nd day is the MBE day, which means 6 hours of multiple-choice wonder (or awfulness, either way). So, positive thoughts right now would be awesome. No, really.

Anyway, I'm obviously writing this in advance (much like all the posts you've been reading the past few weeks -- I blog on my breaks and just do as much as a I can. It's been a nice break.). The last several weeks I've thought a lot about how this is different from the last time around. Some of the differences make me happy and some make me REALLY FREAKED OUT.

For one, this time around I have not studied at the same level of intensity I did Summer 2010. I will be the first to admit that I paid a visit to Crazy Town. I recently found out that a good friend avoided me for the month of July (and maybe part of June). As loyal readers/ followers remember, I also shut myself off from FB and the blog. I studied 9-10+ hours a day (my workouts were walking while listening to mp3 lectures). This time? Not so much.  My studying has been limited to 6-7 hours/ day for 6 days a week. I've done 2 full length MBEs and 1 full length complete bar exam. I amped up my studying to 9+ hours/ day the 10 days leading up the exam. This time, I worked out 30-45 minutes/ day not listening to lectures.

So, I'm both happy that I've had more balance this time around and freaked out that I haven't studied as much. I mean, for some of the subjects (okay, most) this is the 3rd time (in some cases 4th time) I've reviewed the material. At the time of this writing, I'm worried I haven't done enough but at the same time not sure I could have done more. The feeling of shame that I know I'll feel if I don't pass keeps me up at night.  In fact, the last month, I've dreaded going to bed every night knowing that tomorrow brings me one day closer to the inevitable.  I'm excited to be going back to work but at the same time apprehensive because I need to get back up to speed and re-integrated.

At any rate, I'm sure you can't wait for this to be over and stop hearing me complain about the bar all the time.  All and all, the last 2 months have been nice. Erik and I are doing great. I've made new friends and I've lost weight. I've done some cool things.  Now, after tomorrow, it'll be time to re-enter my real life again. I'm looking forward to it.

February Photo a Day: Money

Not actual greenbacks but...

So, I know. This isn't money per se. However, it does show the extent to which Marriott is nickel and dime-ing all the California bar candidates.  If discussing money and costs of things makes you uncomfortable, you should stop reading right now. Some highlights:

• Internet: $9.95 or $13.95 if you don't want to pay for "lite" internet. I don't know about you, when I'm uploading exam files I don't want "lite" internet service.
• Breakfast: $25 for scrambled eggs, coffee, potatoes and a random muffin. Oh, and this morning, they delivered hot water instead of coffee. No tea packets either so who knows what they were thinking. I would have opted for a "cheaper" option (cereal at $18) but I have issues eating first thing in the morning and eggs are the only thing I can literally choke down.  Add pre-test jitters and I'm lucky I got $5 worth of this breakfast.
• Lunch: $14+tax+gratuity, so I'm thinking more like $24 (apparently there's a 21% service charge + $3 delivery on room service!). The brightside is that they deliver it to your room so when you are done with the morning session of the exam it is waiting for you in your room. I would say this may be the only thing worth the money. Also, the sandwiches were HUGE so it will also be lunch tomorrow. Win.
• Parking: $33/ day for valet, otherwise $24 each entry.
• Late check out: $99. $99?!!? I find this last charge egregious. Unfortunately, I'm going to pay it because this way I can have my lunch in my room (see above) and don't have to stress out about packing up all my stuff into my car at 7am in the morning before a hard test day (the essay day today was rough, I'm sure it will be rougher after another day of testing). Also, there are 1200+ people taking this test and I'm pretty sure most are in my hotel. Let the chaos ensue. So, my plan is to pack up the car Wednesday night and then have one bag to take to the car with me when I do the late checkout. This way I can leave directly from the exam and get home asap (we have a dinner res at a 2 michelin star restaurant thankyouverymuch).
• Room Charge: I looked up the price for the hotel for this coming weekend.  It's currently listed for $80 less/ night. The fleecing continues.

So yeah, soooo much money spent to take this stupid exam. I know, I know. First world problems. I'm very lucky that we can pay for these things to make the test less stressful. But, seriously? I'm all for capitalism, but this just seems a bit much.

P.S. Sorry for the length! I've been typing all day and this got a little out of hand.

February Photo A Day: Something You Ate

So, I've cheated. I have yet to eat this food, but it is food, and it will be eaten at some point over the next few days.

Sorry this one is lame, folks. The California Bar Exam starts tomorrow, and I totally forgot to take a photo of what I ate. Let's just say other things were on my mind. I'm currently watching the Bachelor and trying not to FREAK out. "Hay's in the barn" so to speak so all I can do now is rest up my brain with some brainless tv.

So, if you have been lurking on my blog, now would be an excellent time to delurk and wish me the best of luck. No, really, I'm serious. Yes, I'm shameless and perhaps nervous for no good reason for the exam tomorrow.

Nothing Says Date Night Like Executing Some Wills

So, my new friend J asked me if I knew anyone who could help her set up her and her husband's wills because they have a baby on the way and want to provide for guardianship should they pass.  Of course, I said I would check out my firm's resources. Unfortunately, with bar study, I hadn't had a chance to log into my firm's intranet and was feeling pretty bad about not following through with something I said I would do. During my lecture on wills, I was enlightened about this wonderful thing call a "statutory will" here in California.  I'm going to say right now that this is no way is meant to be legal advice. I'm merely describing my own personal experience with California's statutory will. Yes, that's in bold.  I'm dead serious. At any rate, after looking into the statutory will, it looked perfect for my friend and looked perfect for Erik and me.  I told J about it and put the offer out there that I would still look for someone for her, but this document had what she was looking for and would save her some money.  Apparently, her husband's aunt had given her the same advice. The way it works is that California provides a pre-printed form that you fill out in your handwriting. It was very simple.  If you look at the picture, I tabbed it for Erik so he knew where to fill things out. We decided to do it over a glass of wine because we're romantic like that.

Well, my friend decided to do it too.  We had planned for a double date this past weekend so they came over to our apartment first, and we witnessed and signed each others wills. Hot Saturday night, huh? The wills needed to be witnessed and signed by two people not taking under the will so we thought it would be perfect. After that, we went out to dinner at San Pedro Square Market (new trendy cafeteria-type place in town) and then dessert at a wine bar. It was a pretty awesome night, and I truly am happy I made some friends here finally! Oh, and I'm happy that Erik and I have wills now.  I think the next plan is going to be to execute holographic codicils that provide for the situation if we die at the same time. The statutory wills didn't get that complicated, and we want to make sure that our estates don't fall into intestacy (if I'm remembering California survival statutes properly... hmm... note to self: go over my notes for wills). For Erik, it's fine because his parents would take his share of our assets, but I would rather my mom not get anything if I die.  I would rather it go to my brothers (not that I have anything to give right now, but you know). At any rate, that part is not going to be done until after the bar exam.  Until then, we'll just have to try not to die at the same time.  I know, happy Valentine's day to everyone. :P

30 Before 30 Revisited

I've been thinking a lot about my 30 Before 30 List (now moved to its own Page because I'm fancy like that).  I've also been thinking about what I want from this blog and what I want to do in 2012 (new year's resolutions and such).  I love blogging even though I've been absent (but, hey, so have a lot of you who have blogs!).  Blogging is super hard during the holidays not to mention the fact that I underestimated how hard it would be to adjust to my new life here in California. But this is not about making excuses -- because I don't need to! I refuse to feel guilty for my lack of blogging because I've been spending the last 3 months getting settled in my new home and job and getting reacquainted with my husband.  I also have to admit that I really want to blog about the rest of my adventures in NYC, but I have found looking at the photos painful because I miss it (and my friends) so very much.

I learned through this holiday season of traveling and seeing family and friends that I am starting to really like it out here.  I miss everyone terribly but I'm going to make a better effort to keep in touch via the phone and email (but mostly phone because I like real-time conversations better) and stop depending so much on social media.  So, I'm going to embrace my longing for NYC and channel it to share my adventures with you.

Anyway, back to the 30 Before 30 list.  A surprising and shocking amount of things have changed in my life since June 17, 2011 when I made this list.  I'm not sure I reserved the right to change my list at will in my initial post but it's my list and I'll do what I want. :)  So, here is a revised list (well, really an amendment because I'm not going to amend and restate... you'll just have to put up with my posting only the changed items.  Check the Page for the restated list):

Old 6. Hit 122 lbs. and stay there! I'm changing this one because, frankly, I have better things to do with my time than obsess about those extra 8 pounds (okay, 10) I'm carrying around.  But I do want to be healthier and in better shape, which is a constant struggle with how many hours I work and how long I sit at a desk every day.  That leads to New 6. Turn 30 in the best shape of my life (or a close second to freshman year of college when I was doing crew).

Old 10. Run a marathon in wine country.  So, I had signed up for a marathon in wine country.  But, yeah, with the crazy hours I was working in NYC before I quit, moving and starting a new routine my training fell by the wayside, the way-wayside (I get winded more easily than I care to admit now, but see New 6 above).  When I tried to start training again in October, I realized that training for a marathon was not how I like to workout.  I felt very limited by the daily runs and not being able to do anything but run for months.  Also, who wants to run 8 miles on a weekday? Not me.  So while it would be amazing to complete a marathon before I'm 30, I would be doing it for the pure satisfaction of checking something off a list — not because I really have a burning desire to run for 4+ hours straight or because I LOVE running so much. So, my new goal is: New 10. Save enough for a down payment on a house.  You're right, this has NOTHING to do with my previous #10.  Oh well.  The reasoning for this one is apparent on its face (and was not even a pie-in-the-sky dream when we lived apart).

Old 17. Revisit Sanibel Island. As much as I have great memories of traveling to Sanibel Island, FL with my grandparents as a child, now that Erik and I have moved to the West Coast popping down to Florida for a long weekend is not going to happen.  It would be prohibitively expensive.  I'd like to go back but not before I'm 30.  Along the same lines of revisiting childhood memories, I present New 17. Revisit Yosemite National Park. We may even do this one this February/ March (we'll have to see how my bar study goes).

Old 20. Travel to a U.S. city purely because of a restaurant/ something I saw on tv. This is not a good goal.  It just isn't.  I've already kind of done this already (usually picking a place and then finding cool things to do).  Also, I don't watch the travel channel. AND I do this ALL the time.  All our weekend adventures are based off a book or a blogpost or maybe from TV, but we just don't watch enough TV.  Plus, we are spontaneous enough.  I don't need to waste a precious slot on this. This leads me to New 20. [Redacted].  I know, I know.  Putting in a redacted goal is kind of lame, but there are somethings that are too personal to have on the blog.  I'll talk about this one with friends but online seems a little too big of a portal.  This goal is also too important to not have on the list so this is the best compromise I could think of.  So there. :P

Anyway, I realize that this is changing 13.3% of my original list but whatevs. I can't stick to just one plan made at one moment in my life.  Life is fluid and so this list is fluid.  My priorities change and will probably change again especially if we hit another major life event. So, with that, my new goals before I turn 30 (20 months from today!).  Happy 2012 to all!

The Lost Generation (Guest Post)

~Blogged originally by my friend Katy at her blog Exile from Conformity~

I've started to find the generation divides very interesting though the more I look into it the less that I can actually find out about my own generation.

The problem is, we kind of get lumped everywhere. Born in 1983, I and my peers, are too young to be part of Generation X though there are aspects of that generation that I'm sure we identify with. For a while we were referred to as Generation Y, but that terminology has died out and now is trying to lump our age group in with those who are identified as "Millennials" which doesn't seem accurate at all.

The Gen Xers are the historical generation, old enough to remember so many major historical events of the late 70s and the 80s, while us Gen Ys are too young to remember even those early 80s details. (I'd be hard pressed to believe anyone my age or younger actually remembers some of the early to mid 80s details. I don't remember the Challenger explosion, not at all.)

The Millennials are marked with the influence technology has had on their lives, which is why the younger generation fits the bill so much better. Most have always had easy access to computers, if not at home then at school for sure. Most have always been aware of the internet and probably have little to no memories of life without it. As part of Gen Y I vividly remember getting our first computer as well as the first time we connected to the internet. That said though, it's not as if we aren't tech savvy. We were the first group on Facebook and Myspace, both websites being birthed while we were in college and had access to those sorts of things. I remember that my college was far more upscale than some of the other college choices of my classmates because a computer was required at the start of our first year. Not everyone else had one. We also had T10 internet connection, which I think changed my life.

We are the first users of the MP3s, the original kids who brought the Mac nation into what is is now and not the crappy computer lab computer I had that didn't have a mouse that worked properly. Yet at the same time we're different than these Millennials with their iPods in high schools and phones that do more than make phone calls. We had all that as college students, now as adults. The kids born in the 90s have a completely different lifestyle, just like we have a completely different one from those born in the 70s.

We are the lost generation, the ones bridging the gap between one and the other and as time goes forward we become more and more lost. Our older counterparts are getting into Wii's for the exercise benefits and the younger counterparts are kicking our asses in Halo online. Though at the same time, we're the gamers with six different console systems spanning 20 years worth of gaming (at least that's the case at my house).

We're hard workers who are quickly finding that our college degrees that we strove so hard to get aren't exactly what we want to do with the rest of our lives. So many of us have taken on things that we were told to love, told to expect and find ourselves on the brink or at 30 without feeling like we've accomplished much at all. We were raised with the idea that we can be whatever we want to be, we just never really sorted out what that was.

That said we're not an entirely unhappy group of people. Those I know in the lost generation find pleasure in some of the oddest things, things our younger friends take for granted or our older friends just don't get. Our hobbies are too old for us, or too young for us. We blog like mad about...everything. It's a constant attempt to catch up but another attempt to send things back to the old ways. That's life in limbo though isn't it?

September 11, 2001

Everyone has a 9/11 story.  It's just one of those horrible and memorable events that makes you remember exactly where you were.  The entire day is burned into your memory.  My day was spent in complete shock and extreme worry about my cousin who at the time worked in the financial district a mere few blocks away from the WTC buildings.  Fortunately, my 9/11 story has a happy ending.  Her building was unaffected, and she made it from the area safely only to bravely return and help with aid efforts, distributing food and water to the first responders and survivors.  Of course, so many people's stories did not end so well, and I think about them today.

I will say that living in NYC for the 10th anniversary is a little surreal.  Ten years ago I never anticipated living here.  Frankly, ten years ago I was not thinking about ten years hence.  I was thinking about whether that boy from downstairs and I would ever get together (spoiler: We totally did).  But here I am and I have to say that the raise of the terror threat was more than a little disconcerting.  I still did things that I would normally do on a Sunday (brunch with girlfriend, be lazy around the apartment, meet up with a friend for drinks), but I did them with a little more apprehension than normal.  On the subway up to the UWS, I definitely was anxious but consoled myself with the fact I was heading uptown and not to a big NYC landmark.

Yesterday when E and I were touring Brooklyn, we were able to get a good view of what the new NYC skyline will look like when WTC #1 is rebuilt.  We also were able to get a view of the security around the city.  We saw at least 5 police boats (of various sizes) and helicopters/ small military planes patrolling the air.

I'd been waiting to do a write-up about WTC since my book does cover it.  I was waiting for the right time.  Today seems as good of a day as any since I'll be able to share with you some recent photos of the sight.  (I wish I could find more photos.  I definitely have some of Ground Zero shortly after 9/11 of all the memorials people put up but they are not on this computer and may just be printed out in a box somewhere.... (See 30 Before 30 list for the item to remedy this situation.)  I also don't have more photos because to be brutally honest, there wasn't much to see for the last few years.  It looked like a construction sight with a huge fence around it and large holes in the ground).  To see professional photos of what the sight looks like now -- click here.

From July 2011
Construction of the original complex was complete in the early 1970's
and each floor of the original towers had approx. an acre of usable space. (Ch. 170)

From Brooklyn.
That's the Brooklyn Bridge on the right and you can see the tower construction
to the left of the Gehry building.

September 20, 2011
I actually didn't know this, but all 7 buildings in the
World Trade Center fell on Sept. 11 (Ch. 180)

Memorial Ribbons at St. Paul's Chapel.

There was a private event going on (I assume it was for victims' families).

Blogging Pact

My friend Katy and I have made a blogging pact for the month of September.  That means that we will be posting every day this month — 30 posts.  An all time record for me (it will beat this past August which clocked in at an amazing and admirable 27 (if I do say so myself)).  This will be both easy and hard.  Easy in the sense that I have a TON to write about.  Hard in the sense that I will have limited time to actually write things.  I will say that I think I am at a bit of an advantage in that I currently have a backlog of 28 posts and have 7 posts scheduled. 

At the same time, September is historically a rough month for me.  I appreciate my friend agreeing to do something with me.  It will keep me distracted (hopefully) from the fact that this month has a lot of bad memories.  I cannot believe that my dad died 7 years ago.  I just can't.  I also cannot believe that I'm spending another birthday with my life in complete chaos.  Last year, my birthday was spent with an apartment half-unpacked with no A/C and not in the best fiscal position.  I was testing out the whole stay-at-home wife thing while waiting to start work at BigLawNYC LLP and felt like I was drifting along.  This year, I'll be spending it in my 450 sq. foot studio with my husband and 2 cats and more stuff piled around and hopefully I'll have at least decided where I'm going to be working in Palo Alto.  A week after my birthday I'll be quitting my "dream job".  So yeah, it's hectic again but in a good way.  In a way that's full of promise.  I hope the rest of September 2011 turns out as pregnant with possibility.  And no, that's not a way to hint at anything!

Happy Three Year Anniversary to . . .

THIS BLOG!!

25th Bday... 2 days shy of 3 years ago.

That's right.  THREE YEARS ago today I posted my first blogpost ever.  Thanks to those of you that have stuck with me during the wedding planning and then the sporadic post-wedding updates and the long lulls of nothingness.  We've come pretty far together. 

There was the agonizing about the monogram, the dress fitting upon dress fitting upon dress fitting (18, in fact), one wedding photo and then nothing for the rest of 2009, 2010 consisted of trying to blog about our first year of marriage while catching up on the wedding planning (don't think I ever caught up!), minimal blogging in the back half of 2010, dropping you all and then coming back this past spring with my personal favorite — the Scavenger Hunt posts. 

Since starting the blog, I've lived in 3 apartments and in 3 different states (about to go to my 4th of both!).  I became an attorney and Erik got his Ph.D. (Drs. Nelson in the house! woo woo!!).  I've started and quit my dream job.  Erik worked at Hahvahd and will working at what could be his dream job.  We traveled to Spain and Napa Valley and Cleveland.  And now we are moving across the country.

I hope to continue to entertain you and seek your support.  And don't worry, guys.  I will continue to do my Scavenger Hunts NorCal style. :)

Thoughts on Leaving NYC

During the past 10.5 months, I've learned a lot about myself.  It's easy while in school or while living with someone to ignore things about yourself or to focus on other things.  Fortunately/ unfortunately, during my precious few non-working hours, I've had a lot of time to just think about things.  Me, myself and I have done a lot of hanging out these several months.

Some things I've learned:

1. I actually don't like a very conservative, hierarchical work environment. 
• I do not enjoy being afraid to drop by my boss' office.  I also don't enjoy stressing over a reminder for vacation days.  And, frankly, just to be honest, I don't enjoy wearing a suit everyday.  I feel like my personality has been stifled here.  I enjoy bright colors, patterns and most things that are just not "corporate New York" or are just not BigLawNYC LLP.  I may look like a tourist, but I'm fine with that.  And so help me, I'll continue to wear my FitFlops even though they look "cheap".
2. I truly dislike being micro-managed.
• I don't respond well to it.  In fact, I become kind of like a naughty child or passive aggressive adult and do a worse job than I would normally.  I mean, the person is going to check it anyway, right?  Plus, reap what you sow, buddy.  I know this is a negative quality in myself and I should work on it.  But it's really hard to rise above when someone a year above you is drafting emails for you to send to your partner that consist of one sentence.
3. I'm more a walk around and explore kind of person than a museum or theater person.
• This should be completely obvious to those of you who read the blog.  Have I mentioned a show or museum exhibit once?  Nope.  Well, maybe in Pensacola but it was raining so that doesn't really count.
4. I enjoy what I do.
• In spite of the long hours, the stress, the dumb forced hierarchy and, at times, the clients, I LOVE what I do.  I do.  I think I made the best decision becoming a corporate attorney.
5. I spend too much money on food and wine.
• Looking at my budget, I allot (and spend) a ton of money on food and drink.  Some of this is a symptom of not being able to hang out with people until after hours, which means meeting for drinks.  However, most of this is a symptom of me just loving to eat and wanting to take advantage of all the culinary offerings NYC has to offer.  I would probably blog more about my eating adventures, but most of the time, it just doesn't seem appropriate to take a photo of my food in the restaurant.  No worries though, I have them all up here (points to head).

 After giving notice at work on Tuesday and Wednesday, I was feeling quite glum about the whole thing.  Was I making the right decision? Why am I leaving my dream job?  I was (and still kind of am) majorly bummed about leaving NYC so soon.  There's so much left to do!  I wanted to see ALL the places in my book and now I'm not sure it's possible, but I will make a valiant effort.  Anyway, like I said, I was feeling rather dark about leaving.  And then the earthquake happened.  3 thoughts occurred simultaneously: 1) Earthquake (I did grow up in NorCal afterall), 2) terrorist bombing of the subway underneath my building and 3) my building collapsing.  Once the floor beneath me stopped undulating, I realized I was safe but still.  A little freaky.

Then, a mere 5 days later, an unprecedented hurricane is heading my way.  I live in an apartment with an entire exterior wall of windows.  I live in one room...  This means that my entire apartment save for my kitchen and the 5 feet of "hallway" in front of my bathroom are the only safe places away from windows.  I'll devote a blog post to the hurricane (figure it deserves it's own post).

Needless to say, I'm not feeling so sad about leaving NYC anymore.  I'm also not sad about moving back with my husband.  I would much prefer not having to face a HURRICANE ALONE.  So yeah: Get me the heck out of dodge.

Happy 2nd Anniversary

It feels so much longer than two years from the day that Erik and I were married.  I mean this in a good way.  Honestly, I feel like our dating anniversary sums up our relationship much better than our actual wedding anniversary.  There's a large difference between 2 years and TEN years.  We were married 8 years to the day that we met and have experienced and grown so much together.  I truly believe that our love is as strong (or maybe stronger) than it was 2 years ago.  I am so grateful for the foundation we had before this journey of being long distance.  I love E so much and know that he feels the same and for that we are both lucky.

This anniversary is a little sad in that we can't spend it together.  For one, it's a Monday and with living long distance it doesn't comport with the weekend visit requirement.  Second, it's just a complicated time for us right now between my job and his job and the 4 hours on the train.  Sigh.  We have plans to celebrate this weekend so hopefully that will work out!  (Fingers crossed that work quiets down... I have been getting to bed around 3:30am more often than any other time this week!).

Erik gave me a wonderful handmade photo album for our wedding day, and our plan is to take a photo of us every anniversary and put it inside.  However, that takes us actually being in the same spot.  This year will have to be an exception to that (as in the photo will be a few days after the 15th).  I look forward to filling the album with all our anniversary photos and seeing us (and our family) change through the years.  Other momentous occasions may make the album, but for now it's just the wedding anniversaries.

2009

The album.

I love love that we did a painted canvas for our wedding album.  We had everyone sign it in different colored paint pens.  I have it on my wall in NYC, and it reminds me daily of all the love and support we have.

Classic you-caught-me face.  I totally got caught up in the moment during the ceremony and kissed Erik while the judge had his back turned! This is my response to the judge asking what just happened.  (He knew something was up when our guests reacted!)

Classic wedding portrait.  Love our flowers. (Thanks again, Auntie Jo!)

Kind of missing the blond hair right now...

Two years later and I'm still thrilled we walked out to Dreams by the Cranberries.  It was like a movie.

2010

I'm cheesy and made a paper bouquet in our wedding colors because the 1st year is the paper anniversary.  We opened a bottle of Schramsberg sparkling wine, which we purchased on our honeymoon, that was from the year we met (2001).  It was as fabulous as we remembered from our tasting during our honeymoon.

Celebrating our first anniversary at home in Urbana, IL.  Things were crazy because we were about to move to Boston and E was finishing his Ph.D.  I cooked us dinner and E showed up. :)  The deal was that the 2nd year would be all his...  I'll let you know how that ended up after this weekend!

It's Hard to Imagine Sometimes

A few nights ago, it hit me like a ton of bricks.  Sometimes my past creeps up and knocks me right on the head.  You see, because things go so well most of the time (as in 98% of the time), I forget how hard things have been for me.  I forget the pain I've endured and overcome.  Well, on Saturday night, it all came back.  I was reading my latest book, The Omnivore's Dilemma, and somehow it brought stuff up to the surface for me.  Our brains' connections are funny things.  It only lasted for a few minutes.  But it lingers with me.

If I were my mother, I would have a child about to start the second grade (me), have a 1 year old (Matt) and be pregnant with my third child (Mike).  I know where I was in second grade, and it was not living with my mother.  In fact, the summer before second grade is the summer she lost custody of me.  That would be like this summer, her being my age.  In fact, just thinking about this fact again makes my heart race and makes me feel short of breath.  What a realization.  I think about how I feel at this age.  I'm 27 about to be 28.  I have the capacity to love completely, which I had actually questioned my ability to do previously, and am excited for Erik and I to start our family (in a few years).  At any rate, I cannot imagine having a daughter and just stopping the fight for her.  Even at this age.  I think of my mom, who married my dad at 19 and had me at 21.  My dad was much older and probably more formidable in the courtroom/ at the conference table than her (not to mention his whole family).  But really?  How could you not devote all of yourself for a part of yourself?  This is even more poignant for me as I begin to see how moms really are supposed to feel about their babies.  My friends' blogs and Facebook pages are covered in their darlings and I love them for that.  My MiL shows what motherhood should mean.  These shining examples just further confuse me about my own mother.

After realizing the significance of this summer, I started thinking about fights that we had and about how she basically told me that I wasn't welcome at her house anymore.  She was 32 at the time.  That's 5 years from now for me.  That's only 1 year older than one of my closest friends.  Now that I'm getting older, I'm actually finding it harder to forgive her/ understand her.  I just can't imagine her point of view.  I can only imagine that this will continue get harder as I get older and start my own family.

Living Long Distance: The Phone

When Erik and I started dating, we faced the scary prospect of being away from each other for, wait for it, EIGHTEEN WHOLE DAYS OH-MY-GOD-HOW-CAN-WE-SURVIVE?!!?

Erik even wrote me a song about those 18 Days as my Christmas present.  It's still in my iTunes rotation.  We both racked up $$$ in phone bills.  His mom is STILL giving him a hard time about it.  I think we talked the equivalent of an entire day during that winter break.  Ah, to be 18 again. (Side note: Despite my best efforts I cannot seem to locate an electronic photo of us from that time - probably for the best).

Now, however, we are not on the phone anywhere close to that much time.  It's hard to be on the phone at the end of a long day at work.  There's also little to say.  Yeah, I worked on confidential client stuff all day.  Yeah, I did some experiments that I could explain but it would take like 20 minutes and you wouldn't understand half of it.

Sometimes, we have a phone date that goes completely awry.  And by completely awry, I mean, that we want to talk but one thing goes wrong and we end up arguing.  And since we are not in the same place, it's hard to resolve that argument.  If we were in the same place, the argument would dissolve into laughter (about the sheer ridiculousness of the subject matter) or we would hug it out and then it would all be better.  What do we currently do in that situation?  Just end the call and try it again the next day.

When it happened last week, this is the text I got from Erik:

Sorry we had a bad convo tonight.  Still love you

Me: I still love you too.  Connection via telephone fail. :-/

E: Yeah, we can try again tomorrow :)

Me: Haha. Yeah.

That's just what it takes.  A sense of humor about the thing.  Not every visit will be magical and not every phone call will be successful and make you feel better.  Key take away?  Just be flexible about it and don't force the situation.  Oh, and thank goodness for gchat!

Living Long Distance

I've been asked to write a post about living long distance and some general advice for those that might be living long distance at some point.  I'll tell you the honest-to-goodness truth.  It did not get really hard until about 8 months ago.  Erik and I have always been very independent people -- we rarely went out together with our friends preferring the company of our own groups of friends without the other there.  That's not to say that we didn't enjoy spending time together.  We just didn't do it that often since we were both in grad school.  Most of the time, we would say we were going to watch tv and then we would end up just drinking wine and talking.

The days that it's the hardest are Sunday nights or Monday mornings after a visit.  Once you live with someone, you get used to them being there.  I still sleep much better when E is around for a sleepover.  Whenever I leave Cambridge or Erik leaves NYC, I feel empty and the emptiness lingers for a few days.  Most of the time, that goes away and I settle into my routine.  I find hobbies (much like this blog and my getting fit goal) help to pass the hours at night at home alone.  I find myself wishing for work to be really busy because those are the times that it's not that hard.

I've found things to do on the weekends when we are not visiting -- hence, my scavenger hunt posts to pass the time and not let this opportunity of living in NYC pass me by.

My post a little while ago was mostly about my work stresses.  I hit an inflection point for sure when I realized that this is just not worth it.  But that wasn't about the distance.  That was about the job.  I'll write more on that at a later time.

So, my advice for this time around: Find something to do in your downtime that's adventurous or creative and that does not just consist of watching tv.  It's hard at first (there were definitely lots of lonely nights and days during the weekend when I wandered aimlessly around the city), but it's totally worth it.  I've found that it makes things easier for me to know that I have stuff I want to accomplish on the weekend.

As I think of some additional advice, I'll make sure to post it.  In the meantime, consider investing in an iPhone 4.  FaceTime has been awesome and let's me see my kitties (and whether Erik is keeping the apartment clean!).

8 Month Check In

A little over eight months ago I moved away from my husband and started my legal career at BigLawNYC LLP.  And let me just say this, it's beginning to weigh on me.  The hours.  The distance.  The stress.  Even when the hours aren't that bad, I have the constant worry that at any moment they could get really bad.  As in, drop everything, your life now belongs to the firm bad.  Sleep? For the weak.  Seeing your husband? Too bad so sad.  This article actually really resonates with me and that makes me sad.

I'm still trying to figure out when exactly this happened to me.  When I started really disliking my job.  I don't dislike the work.  I dislike not getting work all day and then getting an email at 7pm at night for work to do that night.  I dislike checking my blackberry at 9:45pm on a Sunday night, meeting a friend for a drink and then coming home to an email with work to do that night, which also happens to consume the last few waking hours that E and I have together.  This is just insane. (Speaking of which, I just got an email for work... It's 11:30pm at night.  Yes, I write my posts in advance.)

I thought that I was intense.  I thought that I could cut it.  Right now, it doesn't feel like it.  I think that if E and I lived in the same city it wouldn't feel so bleak.  I can only hope that day comes sooner rather than later.

As for now, I'm trying to be the best attorney I can be.  Do my assignments with a smile on my face and try to keep a positive attitude.  Some days it's harder than others -- sorry to my summer associate for a downer lunch last week (it's not all bad, I swear!).  It hasn't been easy for the last 2 weeks or so but hopefully, I'll snap out of it soon.  To keep me occupied, I've come up with a plan to achieve #10 on my list (see the right).  I'm running in the March 4, 2012 Napa Valley Marathon.  I have all my workouts planned for the next 36 weeks.  Yes, I know that's hardcore, but a girl's gotta have a plan, right?  I'll blog about that plan later.

You would think that having a hardcore activity in your free time would be something admirable in an employee, right? Well, unfortunately, at my group's event last night, I found out that might not be the case!  I was making small talk with email-me-after-hours partner and mentioned something about work, got chastised and so went to a good fall back -- what I do in my free time.  Well, after that, I was telling a different partner about the Corporate Challenge and about how since I'm long distance from my husband, I've found something to do in my spare time -- train for a marathon.  I was also using this as an excuse to bow out "early" and not go drinking with everyone after our boat cruise.  Oh, yeah, bummer I can't go out... I have a 3-miler scheduled for the morning...  Anyway, his response to my talking about training:  Oh, you have time to go to the gym?  Hmmmm.... that's not right.  We'll have to fix that.  Ummmmm..... WTF!?  Let's give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he was joking.  NOT appropriate!  I was so stressed after I left the event that I had to call my MiL and my husband and just ask whether I just messed up and now I'm not going to have any free time because apparently that's unacceptable. Argh! I wanted to be an NYC atty, why!?

Happy Birthday, Hubby

Amongst the vines where he loves to be!

My husband turned 28 this past Monday so he came to NYC to celebrate.  And celebrate we did!  I treated my man to a massage at my gym (while I worked out).  Later that afternoon, we braved the terrible NYC weather (really rainy and cold this weekend) to buy him some new jeans.  E was a trooper and tried on 9 pairs of jeans -- no joke.  We walked away with 2 (yay for 40% off coupons in emails).  THEN we had dinner at Veritas.  It was A-MAZ-ING.  I think what made it the most amazing, besides the fabulous wine list and the delicious food, was the fact that the maitre d actually read my open table reservation note about it being my husband's birthday.  They even comped us champagne to start!

On our way to the dinner, we flagged a cab (decided to splurge because it was crappy weather).  The cab driver asked us if we were on our honeymoon.  Seriously!  We told him that we've been married almost two years and he proceeded to talk our heads off all the way to restaurant.  He was really nice and it actually was a sweet way to start the evening.  Who doesn't like being confused for honeymooners?!

Another part of Erik's gift was the following list -- An Ode to My Hubby.

28 Reasons Erik Is Awesome

1. He is someone who cares deeply about other people. 
2. He’s brilliant! 
3. He is motivated. 
4. He reaches for his goals. 
5. He is passionate about his interests. 
6. He gives spontaneous foot rubs. 
7. He is a great friend. 
8. He’s loyal. 
9. He is a hard worker. 
10. He wears his sneakers until they die. 
11. He’s a great chef. 
12. He would make a great personal trainer. 
13. He is my best friend. 
14. He likes tv shows with love story lines. 
15. He loves wine. 
16. He loves champagne Tuesdays. 
17. He loves champagne Wednesdays. . . 
18. [Redacted <3] 
19. He plays the guitar and was in a band. 
20. He enjoys watching NFL games. 
21. He loves BWWs. 
22. He is a great husband. 
23. He enjoys watching romantic comedies. 
24. He loves fine dining. 
25. He’s willing to try new things. 
26. He loves (our) cats. 
27. He wants to retire on a vineyard. 
28. He will make a great dad.

So, Erik, my husband, my best friend, Happy Birthday!

Visiting the Midwest

Sorry I haven't been around for a little bit.  I was on vacation the week of Easter, and it took this past week to recover!  One thing is for sure—boy, I miss my friends and family!  The past 7 months in NYC (official as of May 2) have flown by.  I was really beginning to feel like NYC was becoming my city, but returning to the Midwest made me rethink that a little bit.  The open spaces, green spaces and blue skies were absolutely refreshing.  Driving in a car was amazing (sorry, Mother Nature).  It has been 9 months since I have owned a car, and let me tell you, being able to drive somewhere when it's raining is the best!  I felt an urge to go grocery shopping just to see the lower prices and to experience the ease of loading up a car and then driving my groceries home—rather than lugging 30 lbs. of groceries the 1/2 mile I live from Whole Foods in the city.

Erik and I took advantage of being in middle America by going to several of our favorite chain restaurants (I'm looking at you, BWW! and Chili's) and by going to an outlet mall.  We even toured some Illinois wineries and stayed in a B&B but more on that later (after Hubster sends me his photos—cough cough).  As for now, I thought I would share something brief that I found particularly amusing:

Anyone who's been to NYC has probably heard of "Avenue of the Americas" otherwise known at 6th Ave.  Well, E and I just happened to stop at this exit off of I-57 for Steak & Shake and lo and behold - Avenue of Mid-America!  How perfect!  Notice the quintessential suburban places advertised!  Funny sidenote on this exit, I wore leggings and a t-shirt because we were going to be in the car for 6+ hours and, well, it's basically a NY-er weekend uniform at this point.  Well, apparently people here had never seen someone in leggings before.  I definitely felt un-com-fort-able.  We seriously walked into S&S and it was like one of those movies where the music playing on the jukebox abruptly stops. Pretty hilarious.

Anyway, here's a really interesting article about the Midwest that after living in NYC made me appreciate my time in Illinois that much more.

Long Time No Update!

Hello to all of those who have not completely given up on checking the blog! I know that I have been horribly delinquent and even felt pressure/guilt to post to the blog during the 13 days in between moving back from NYC and the wedding but just could not do it. WAY too much stuff to do to tell all of you about the stuff I was doing.

At any rate, my goal is to finish up my posts about the wedding planning experience and catch you all up with the little details and labors of love that made our wedding possible. All those that attended, I hope you had a fabulous time. It really was a perfect day for E and me.

I am debating keeping this blog going even after the wedding updates and make it a sort of Nelson Family Blog but we'll see. If that's the case, it'll probably go private just because blogging about newly married life, job searches, and other such things just seems much more personal than blogging about a wedding, which is a public-ish event afterall.

So, I hope that you will again start checking this site for the events leading up to the big day. Although, it may not be as fun considering you've probably already seen the main event. For my long-distance friends/visitors this will probably be much more interesting. Anyway, I should probably get going with my day (morning classes being canceled are both blessings and curses).