Bar Exam

All these books are in my head right now.

While you are reading this (assuming you read it on the day it's posted), I am taking the 2nd day of the California bar exam (it's 3 days - yuck). The 2nd day is the MBE day, which means 6 hours of multiple-choice wonder (or awfulness, either way). So, positive thoughts right now would be awesome. No, really.

Anyway, I'm obviously writing this in advance (much like all the posts you've been reading the past few weeks -- I blog on my breaks and just do as much as a I can. It's been a nice break.). The last several weeks I've thought a lot about how this is different from the last time around. Some of the differences make me happy and some make me REALLY FREAKED OUT.

For one, this time around I have not studied at the same level of intensity I did Summer 2010. I will be the first to admit that I paid a visit to Crazy Town. I recently found out that a good friend avoided me for the month of July (and maybe part of June). As loyal readers/ followers remember, I also shut myself off from FB and the blog. I studied 9-10+ hours a day (my workouts were walking while listening to mp3 lectures). This time? Not so much.  My studying has been limited to 6-7 hours/ day for 6 days a week. I've done 2 full length MBEs and 1 full length complete bar exam. I amped up my studying to 9+ hours/ day the 10 days leading up the exam. This time, I worked out 30-45 minutes/ day not listening to lectures.

So, I'm both happy that I've had more balance this time around and freaked out that I haven't studied as much. I mean, for some of the subjects (okay, most) this is the 3rd time (in some cases 4th time) I've reviewed the material. At the time of this writing, I'm worried I haven't done enough but at the same time not sure I could have done more. The feeling of shame that I know I'll feel if I don't pass keeps me up at night.  In fact, the last month, I've dreaded going to bed every night knowing that tomorrow brings me one day closer to the inevitable.  I'm excited to be going back to work but at the same time apprehensive because I need to get back up to speed and re-integrated.

At any rate, I'm sure you can't wait for this to be over and stop hearing me complain about the bar all the time.  All and all, the last 2 months have been nice. Erik and I are doing great. I've made new friends and I've lost weight. I've done some cool things.  Now, after tomorrow, it'll be time to re-enter my real life again. I'm looking forward to it.