Adventures in Tanning

So, as part of my returning to the land of the living, I have been catching up on the little things - like getting a haircut and seeing the dermatologist.  Yes, I did the superficial appointments first.  Next stop, taxes and my "women's appointment."

Anyway, at my dermatologist appointment, my dr. said that I need to go tanning!  What?!?  I have both psoriasis and eczema—both of which weren't diagnosed until I was 22.  (Wow, my high school/ college experience would have been much better had I had that information and been able to actually do something to treat it!  Body issues, what?)  At any rate, I've been having a breakout mostly because I live in the snowy tundra that is Illinois and because I've started swimming and that's always been a recipe for disaster.  So, at my appointment she told me that I had to start going tanning -- because my insurance wouldn't cover the "light therapy" that they do in the office!  So, I've been prescribed going tanning 3 times a week for 10 minutes a pop!!  I really regret not getting her to write the prescription out because I would totally post it on this blog.  Aw, the memories....

Anyway, I've been twice now.  The last time I had been tanning was high school before prom.  I lived in Maine and was a bluish white color from the 9 months of winter.  Yeah, hotness!  I look at my prom photos and am surprised that I had been tanning... I look very very pasty regardless.  One can only wonder how I would have looked otherwise.  Tanning has become quite the industry.  I signed up for a "membership" where I have unlimited tans (oh my!) for the bargain price of $19.88.  One of my students recommended the place and so my registration fee ($25!) was waived.  My derm. did give me some great advice: Bring my own Clorox wipes.

So, today I went at 4:45pm.  Apparently, this is the time to go get your "tan on."  I had to wait in a line of 8 people just to sign in.  And then, wait another 15-20 minutes to get a bed.  And this place boasts of its "32 beds"!  The crazy thing is that there were lots of guys there (they go tanning and not just on the Jersey Shore!?!).  In fact, the guy in front of me in line bumped into his (ex)girlfriend's mother and told her about how he went to the gym, now he was gettin' his tan, then he would get dinner then work -- Just his normal schedule.  And these guys were not that cute (granted, they were like high schoolers and therefore out of my cute-range).

The women who work at the tanning salon just can't seem to grasp that I'm not there to get tan -- granted, it's odd.  They keep trying to upsell me on the amount of time spent in the lightbed.  Really, 15 minutes is quite enough (especially because I may or may not have burnt my a** today!).  There were lots of women there that were orange and I don't want to turn that color.  I guess the upside is that I'll have a base tan (however subtle it may be) for the Caymans!

The jury's out on whether this will resolve my skin maladies.  Also, in case you were wondering, I used the Clorox wipes today and there wasn't any dirt on them-THANK GOD.  I had expected it to look like how it does when I clean around my apt (yuck) but fortunately it appears as though this salon does clean up after the clients. :)