Reversed Roles

This is to make up for the rambling nonsense that was my last post about my MiL.  The photo on the left is from the day after the wedding. Don't we look so cute?!

Anyway, I truly believe that my MiL and I have reversed the stereotypical roles of a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in one major way: She cleans when I visit.  And not just cleans, she goes nuts and stays up late and gets stressed that it's not clean enough.  I came up to visit in February for an interview and she was there on her hands and knees at 9:30pm cleaning the kitchen floor!  Totally not necessary.  But then again, I can see why she does it.  She knows that I'm a clean freak and just wants to make sure I feel comfortable.  I also think that she may believe that I will judge her by the cleanliness of the house.  This is not true.  I do notice when things aren't spotless but that's just because I'm anal.  It doesn't mean that I judge others when it's not clean.  She's much busier than me right now and has less time and energy to do such things.  Of course, I clean when she comes to visit but not in the same way.  I clean because I clean for all houseguests she cleans in the way that a DiL would clean to prevent the MiL from judging and butting in.  I just find it hilarious.  However, there are signs that she's relaxing a bit, which I think is good for everyone's sanity.


Despite the above, there are many ways that she is more than just a mother-in-law to me -- she is my mom.  During our girls' day last Friday, she kept saying to me -- "so this is what my sisters get to do on a regular basis with their daughters?  It's so nice!"  I was thinking the same thing in reverse.  I also am remembering a conversation we had a few months ago.  She was talking to me about how it was unfair that my mom (and step mom) sucked at life so much.  She was saying how she couldn't understand how anyone could have a child (or raise a child from very young) and not act like they love them or in fact love them.  I told her that none of that bothers me anymore -- I have her.  And I really mean that.  We don't get to choose our parents.  Most of us end up with good ones (I hope I'll be a good one) but some of us end up with people that should have never had children in the first place.  I feel like Barb (and Barry) are my reward for enduring a horrible childhood most of it being at the hands of my biological (and step) parents.  

I think that they were part of the calculus that we all have about our spouses.  I mean, there's the saying "you aren't just marrying the person, you're marrying their family too."  And I'm so lucky to have in-laws like I have.  Ones that I can go up and visit without Erik and have a great time.  A MiL that I can call several times a week just to shoot the breeze.  Sometimes, Erik and I get treated more like siblings because his parents think of us as both of their kids.  He and I laugh about that and try not to think too deeply about it.  Anyway, enough waxing poetic about how much I love my parents.  I promise to write a more humorous, fun post later this week to balance it out!