To say that this past week has been intense would be an understatement. Let's put it this way: I billed over 100 hours since last Thursday morning. That is to say, this past week I worked and I slept. I did eat but it was while working. And the sleeping? It was minimal.
BUT it was pretty great. In the late hours last night, my client signed a $1 billion deal that was announced publicly this morning. I filed the 8-K with the SEC that made it official at 8:15 a.m. I slept from 3:45 a.m. to 5:30 a.m. this morning, which means that I got less than 2 hours of sleep last night. I negotiated the inclusion/absence of certain contracts with the counsel for the other side, who were, in some cases, several years ahead of me experience-wise (and won the arguments). I helped our client sign what could be the biggest deal of the respective major employees' careers. This deal could change the course of the particular area of business in which the parties are involved. It's just so exciting. The past few days have reinforced for me that I've found what I want to do. Yes, it's tough. Yes, you don't get to sleep a lot and it's stressful at times. But, wow. To be involved in something that changes the course of business for a major company? Amazing.
I know that last paragraph sounds braggy, and perhaps it is, but I'm proud of this. And, frankly, thinking about things in that light makes the last week worth it. Well, worth it is strong. Maybe — makes it less bad? I missed some things that I had planned the past few days—a good friend's birthday, Erik coming in town (had to cancel), my undergrad alumni event (ending up being able to go for only 45 minutes on Tuesday). On Friday when I realized my weekend was toast, I felt like crying. I literally put my head in my hands and just breathed. I had been looking forward to the above, and I felt frustrated at the lack of communication on the timing. The thing is, once you get staffed on a deal, your life is no longer your own. You can't expect to do anything except for working and it pretty much always comes out of the blue. I'm learning to be flexible.
I've pushed my body the last week further than I thought possible before. I feel like I can accomplish anything (Disclaimer: That might be the adrenaline talking). I've been operating on less than 5 hours of sleep for the past week and then last night was practically an all-nighter. And yet, throughout I was able to maintain a positive attitude. What's the point of being bitter when there's nothing you can do short of quitting your job? I signed up for this when accepting my offer at BigLawLLP, and I'm gaining experience that's only going to make me a better attorney and more marketable should I choose to leave. I hope my viewpoint on this never changes. There are so many people unhappy with their jobs at my firm, and it makes me sad. I hope I never become the more senior associate that just doesn't care that you haven't seen your husband for a month. Or the one that doesn't tell you until 9 p.m. that you may not get to sleep that night. There's something to be said for treating people like, well, people.
Now to explain the title of this post. I've been a little surprised that I haven't looked worse upon waking than I normally do this week. My night secretary keeps saying that she's shocked I've gotten as little sleep as I have this past week. And last night, I was confused for an admitted student at my alumni event. Yes, that's right folks -- some poor man thought I was SEVENTEEN!! ?*@*$#%@#$^!?! is all I have to say about that. When I look in the mirror in the morning, I have noticed one important thing the last few days. When you smile, you don't look as tired. The bags under your eyes tighten, lift and disappear (almost). That's my beauty secret. Just keep smiling. Smile even if you feel like you are about to collapse. Smile and say that you are happy to help any way you can even when you feel micro-managed because you can control how other people make you feel and you can control your workflow. If you ask for work, people are less likely to randomly give you work (I learned this in law school. If you volunteer in class, you are less likely to be cold-called). I have chosen this line of work for right now, and there's no sense in being pouty or grumpy about it. "Fake it until you make it." When you smile and have a positive and can-do attitude, people want to work with you. When you volunteer for more work or ask how you can help, not only are you building goodwill with your colleagues (hence, me being able to leave in the middle of signing to go to an alumni event), you are making it such that people are happy to work with you. It makes the process go much smoother. No one wants to work until 3 a.m., and if you are stuck doing so, you might as well do it with personable, upbeat people, right?
I'm happy that this last week has been spent with some pretty cool, personable people. I'm looking forward to closing this deal with them in fall. And I'm looking forward to the combined company to go forth and prosper.
Side note: Needless to say the working out has NOT happened this past week. I'll hit the gym.... Friday? ;)
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