We last left off on Friday night where I was told to get sleep in preparation for a hellish weekend. Well, it certainly was! I worked about 32-33 hours this past weekend. I'm not even joking. And did the deal sign yesterday?! NO. Maybe it'll sign tomorrow, maybe it'll never sign. At this point, I just don't even freakin' care. I could go into a huge rant about being marginalized on the deal (potentially my fault for being distracted last week but not entirely my fault because the person I'm working with has trouble delegating), mismanaged (sitting around for 4+ hours waiting for comments on a beautiful Saturday!) and sleep-deprived (not going to bed before 3:30am Saturday night and leaving work at 4am on Monday morning only to come back in at 10am and bill a measly 3 hours -- soooooooo pointless).
Some good things have happened since last Friday. Erik faxed in his offer acceptance today (their final approval pending on his background check). And, I got another interview in California and booked my travel out there.
This is all happening very quickly. I will say that this past week of work has not made the decision harder. Especially since while I'm trying to write this (at 9pm-10:30pm at home, mind you), I keep getting emails with work even though I billed a total of ONE f*cking hour during normal work hours! While I'm not too upset about leaving my job, I am sad that I worked the whole of what
But the absolute WORST thing about this is that I can't tell anyone. I mean, I can but I can't. Sure, like 10 people total know. The people I talk to every day. I can't lie to the people I have close relationships with. I just can't. But the associate who's kind of making things terrible for me? Eh, he doesn't need to know. I'll tell him (and everyone else for that matter) when I give notice at my firm. And I won't give notice until I have a job offer (I'll give notice before I accept the offer -- hopefully, I'll have several and be able to negotiate for higher pay/ step-up in class year/ signing bonus /etc.). Anyway, I'm not a dishonest person by nature. I just am not. I have a really hard time lying. Someone asked me if I was renewing my lease and I was like, "Ummm..... well..... yeah....". So bad! Now said person thinks something is up and keeps asking me random personal questions. He really wants to know what's up! We're not that good of friends, buddy. It's actually kind of funny. My friend Jisoo and I have dubbed him Noseyparker. Coincidentally, this post hit ATL. All I could think was—exactly!
One of the things that I had to do yesterday was let the partner know I was taking personal days. This is the same partner of this post and this post (and the 8 months post about only getting after hours emails). I mean, do I say that I have "family issues" or "personal stuff"? Do I make up a sick family member? Do I tell him I'm moving? Do I tell him Erik has a job in California (he knows E was looking for a job and that we are long distance)? Ultimately, I ended up sending the following email after I got my travel confirmation from the firm in Palo Alto:
Subject: Personal Days Hi [Partner],
I know this is probably not the best timing but over the course of the last week some personal stuff has come up. Unfortunately, I am going to need to take a few personal days to go to California Thursday through Monday to take care of things. I was hoping that XXXXX would sign today so I wasn't leaving in the middle of a deal. I'm taking the red eye back Monday night/ Tuesday morning so I anticipate being in at the beginning of the day Tuesday. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.
Best,
Meaghan
I stressed about this email much like I stressed about this email. Clicking "send" literally took my breath away. Fortunately, he was receptive. He emailed me back rather quickly (as opposed to my vacation reminder with no response) and merely said that it was fine with him and to remind him later. Wow. So easy, right? An unfortunate and unexpected side effect of sending said email was my motivation plummeting. It was as though by clicking send, I effectively gave notice that I was leaving. I know this isn't the case and I am fairly confident he doesn't know what's up, but still. I haven't taken any personal days before (and probably wouldn't if not for this).
Anyway, despite working ALL weekend, things during the week have been really SLOW. That's totally annoying. Monday, I billed a total of 2.7 hours. Today, not much better. Sigh. I guess that's life. One of the things that I've decided to do while being slow (and will probably continue to be slow because I won't get staffed on something as soon as they know I'm leaving), is to work on finishing my Scavenger Hunt series. So, today I made a list (by neighborhood) of all the things I have left to see. I haven't even scratched the surface, guys! I have my work cut out for me but hopefully I'll have some work-free weekends to explore and cross things off the list. Wish me luck!
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